Grissom's Gift
by mossley
Summary: An unusual gift has Sara questioning Grissom's Valentine's Day plans. Plus an unwelcome old suitor shows up. More challenge fluffiness.


**Grissom's Gift  
Summary:** An unusual gift has Sara questioning Grissom's Valentine's Day plans. Plus an unwelcome old suitor shows up. More challenge fluffiness.  
**A/N: **This is the third challenge fic issued by Marlou; the second one will be an angsty novel unless I scale it back, so I don't know when it'll be done. For this challenge, the first and last lines were provided, along with a 2,500-word limit, which I blew slightly. Thanks to Gibby for daring to beta this.  
**Rating: **PG-13  
**Disclaimer: **I scare myself at times. It's a good thing I don't own these characters. They deserve much better.

* * *

"That must be the most atrociously pink lollipop I have ever seen." 

Sara looked up from the folder in her hands, quickly spotting the subject of Catherine's comment. Her jaw dropped as she watched Hodges carrying it away, holding it in front of him like he wanted to keep as much distance from it as possible.

"It is pink," she agreed slowly, her lip curling up at one corner. "But it wasn't the color that caught my attention. It's a bit, uh, well, phallic."

"Eh, I've seen bigger."

"We are still talking about lollipops here, aren't we?" Sara asked, not sure if she wanted to know. Technically, the colossal confection appeared anatomically correct, but it _had_ to exceed human proportions. Just thinking about it was painful.

Catherine smirked as they took off after Hodges. "This is Vegas."

She followed along, deciding she didn't want a more specific reply. The city did have a well-deserved reputation for sexual excess, and Catherine wasn't exactly shy. It was disturbing enough to know that a shop sold things like that without hearing details of the blonde's encounter with the model's big brother.

"How was your Valentine's? Did you have plans?" Catherine asked unexpectedly, causing Sara's head to jerk up.

"Wha?"

"I know you're seeing someone."

"What makes you think that?"

"You have an open box of condoms in your purse," Catherine said, rolling her eyes at the look directed her way. "I saw them when I borrowed a comb the other day. You're not the type to have something like that unless you're going to use them."

Sara's hand fidgeted with the folder as she silently swore. She'd forgotten about the condoms when she told Catherine to help herself to the comb. They had been sitting in there since before Grissom left for his sabbatical. After all the steps they'd taken to be cautious, it was a stupid oversight.

Nothing in Catherine's question or attitude suggested that she knew just whom Sara was seeing, though. She doubted the news that Grissom was involved with her would be greeted with indifference, so their secret was probably safe.

It didn't mean that she wanted to supply any additional information to the office gossip pipeline. Besides, she didn't have any to provide.

Before the holiday, they had walked into the locker room as Nick was detailing his date plans to Warrick. He then teased Grissom by asking what he was going to do on Valentine's Day. She thought she'd seen a flicker of panic on his expression, but she really didn't mind if he had forgotten. It wasn't a big deal to her, even if they were still trying to find their balance now that he was back.

But when they were alone later, Grissom told her that he had a special surprise for her. He also pointed out that they both had to work on the fourteenth, so he'd save the celebration for the weekend. She had no idea what he had planned, and she probably wouldn't share if she did. Whatever it was, it was probably very _…_ Grissom-esque. There was no reason to give away another clue to their secret.

"Don't worry. I understand why you didn't share with the lab," Catherine said softly. "I won't tell anyone."

While glad to have a way to avoid her question, Sara irately stated the obvious, nodding towards Hodges. "You just said it in front of him. He'll tell the whole lab."

She shrugged as they rounded the last corner before reaching Trace. "Why do you think he has the lollipop?"

"'He' does have a name, you know," Hodges said in a wounded tone. "And ears. Don't your jobs require a trace of tact?"

"Sorry, Hodges. So, why do you have a giant penis?" Sara asked.

"All the girls want to know," he sung out in what he probably considered a seductive manner; his lecherous grin made Sara's hair ache.

"Hodges!" Catherine snapped. "Tell us about that thing. Please."

"That's better. A little courtesy goes a long way, I always say. Be nice to people," he said sarcastically.

"And, for the record, it's not mine. Not really my style," he added as he settled into his seat and tried unsuccessfully to balance the pop's handle in a test tube rack. "It's not something I need. This is Grissom's."

Sara's grin froze.

"Grissom has a giant pink phallus," she mused, clearing her throat as her blush threatened to ignite anything flammable in the lab. "I mean, what case does he have that involves something like that?" she said quickly when Catherine chuckled softly.

"It's not for a case," Hodges said, his expression beaming with self-satisfaction. He leaned forward, waving them closer, and then he whispered conspiratorially. "Think girlfriend."

Sara's eyes swiveled to the lollipop leaning at a suggestive angle in the rack, and her forced grin threatened to break her jaw.

Grissom didn't.

He _wouldn't_.

He was singularly unique, there was no denying that, but she had a hard time believing that he had settled on _that_ for a Valentine's present. True, he wasn't exactly up-to-date on romantic overtures, but he did have some class. At most, she expected a piece of tasteful lingerie, and – given Grissom's predilections – that would involve lots of pink cotton covered in little ladybugs.

But this _was_ the man whose idea of a touching gesture to show that he missed her had been to send her a bug-onna-stick.

Without a note.

Sara's eyes started to water as she stared at the lollipop, desperately hoping that he didn't expect her to actually use it. She tried to figure what possessed him to give her that, to think that she'd want something like it. Their sex life was very satisfactory, if somewhat non-descript, but she had no complaints.

He knew that, didn't he?

Did he have complaints?

She loved him without a doubt, and she wanted him to be as happy as he made her. If he wanted to explore something more … daring … she was willing to try a lot of things, but that sugary stick looked more like a torture instrument. It was too hard imagining that her tender, albeit geeky, lover wanted her to, to, to do anything with that lollipop.

Her eyebrow started to climb up her forehead as a lone, logical thought frenetically battled its way to the forefront of her mind: Why would Hodges know anything about what Grissom was planning to give her?

Turning her head slowly, she realized that Catherine was trying to pump more information from him.

"Grissom told you this was for his girlfriend," Sara interrupted. "Our Grissom? The quiet guy who never talks about himself?"

"Me and Gil are like this," he said, holding up his crossed fingers, letting out a dramatic huff at their disbelieving stares. "I never said he got it for her. She got it for him."

"What?" both women exclaimed at the same time.

Hodges grinned manically as he got out a swab. "I was chatting with Judy at the receptionist desk. She has a thing for me…"

"She's engaged," Sara stated.

"Really? She doesn't act like it. I'll let her fiancé know he doesn't have anything to worry about. I respect monogamy."

"Hodges!" Catherine snapped. "Tell us about this."

"Right. So, Judy was flirting with me, and this lady walked in asking to see Grissom. She identified herself as his girlfriend and wanted to see him. Judy told her that he wasn't in."

"Grissom had a girlfriend? In the lobby?" Sara asked doubtfully. She briefly considered that he was cheating but dismissed the idea as ludicrous.

"Yeah," Catherine said, wincing slightly as she turned to her. "Nick figured out the clues first: Taking days off, shaving the beard, losing weight, not spending all his free time at the lab."

"Right," Sara said, her head nodding automatically. She held her breath, but Catherine hadn't put the pieces together. They were working hard to keep a secret from people who apparently wouldn't believe it if they were told the truth. Normally that would have set her mind at ease, but who sent Grissom a gigantic candy phallus?

"Don't you think it's weird that someone left that for him?" Sara noted nervously.

"And just why do you think I'm testing it?" Hodges asked impatiently. "As a precaution. She was pretty drunk, that's probably why she brought it to the lab."

"Tell me about her!" Catherine said eagerly.

"Yeah, really," she insisted.

Hodges leaned back on his stool and stared into the distance. "She fits him. Well, she is older than he is, at least ten years. But I guess he can't be that picky. But she probably was a looker when she was younger."

Sara's head cocked as her subconscious tried to get her attention. Catherine's giddy smirk didn't make her feel better.

"Go on. Tell me more."

"She's definitely drunk. You could smell the alcohol on her. Plus, she kept dancing around the lobby. And she was wearing…"

"Uh, Cath," Sara interrupted. "Do you really think Grissom would date someone who would bring him a giant penis at work?"

"That is a good point," she said, her concern for her friend vying for potentially juicy gossip. "It does sound kinda weird."

"Well, that's why I'm trying to get this tested," he sighed as he picked up the lollipop. "When Judy told her that Grissom was in a meeting, she said she'd wait. I told her I'd put this on his desk for him, as a surprise."

"She's in the lobby? Now?"

"Yeah," Hodges said. "As I started to say, she really fits him. Must work in some sort of lab. Her jacket had dried bloodstains on it. Took me a minute to realize it with all the sequins…."

"Oh, no, not her!" Sara slammed the folder into Catherine's hands and dashed toward the lobby at full speed. She desperately hoped she was wrong, but there couldn't be two women like that, even in a city like Vegas.

Almost immediately she realized that running through the hallways was a mistake if she wanted to handle this quietly. Catherine was behind her, yelling at Jim to join them as they passed him at an intersection.

"Some psycho is after Gil! She's in the lobby."

Sara barreled into the waiting area, rapidly scanning the area as Jim pulled up beside her. She told him to put his cell phone away, but he began to case the room cautiously. He rounded a row of chairs when an old woman suddenly sat up when he tread on her faux stole.

"Watch it, dipshit!" she screamed.

"Rochelle! You remember me," Brass said, laughing as he held out his hands.

"Would someone tell me what is going on? Right now," Catherine demanded between pants.

"Rochelle La Putain, this is Catherine. She works at the Crime Lab with Gil," Brass said with a broad grin. "She used to be a dancer, too."

The old woman appraised her professionally, finally letting out a dismissive snort. "I have all my original parts. I never used none of those implant thingies."

"I've never," Catherine started to explain, but Rochelle ignored her

"Bimbo," she said, shoving her away and seeing Sara for the first time. "Thief!"

"She remembers me, too. Want to trade? I'm always the thief," Sara said, turning to Catherine and shrugging at the glare directed her way. "Grissom and I met her a couple of times in the past. She, uh, has a thing for him."

"Besides obscene candy?"

"She likes to molest him," Brass explained.

"Gil?" Catherine asked in disbelief.

"Where's my Gil? I want my cupcake!" Rochelle drunkenly slurred.

"Oh, I'm sure he'll be here in a minute," Brass said with too much glee. "He never forgets one of your visits."

"Huh! The bastard never calls me afterwards."

"That's because you never leave your number," Sara said, stepping back as a hand shot for her hair; she hadn't forgotten how quickly the elderly woman moved.

Catherine watched the scene with a bewildered expression, finally noticing the blood on the woman's jacket. "Ma'am, are you hurt? Do you need a doctor?"

"Do I look hurt, bimbo?"

"She always has bloody clothes on," Sara whispered. "She never remembers where it came from when she sobers up."

"Where's my cupcake?" Rochelle repeated angrily, hissing when she saw Hodges. He'd followed the commotion, still carrying the lollipop. With startling speed, she grabbed it from him and kicked his shin. "That's not for you! It's for my Gil."

"What did you bring me, Rochelle?" Brass asked after ordering Hodges to find a camera.

"Why would I bring you anything?"

"But I'm an old friend."

"You're old all right. Get out of my way, dipshit, or I'll kick your nuts out of your nose."

"And this is the woman Hodges thinks is perfect for Grissom," Sara said with a grin.

"What did you do with him?" Rochelle demanded. "He's mine, you hear? Keep your thiefy hands off of him."

"I have no doubt who Grissom would pick," Sara deadpanned.

"And don't you forget it."

"Jim, what's going on in here?" Grissom called out as he entered from another corridor. His geriatric admirer immediately covered him, kissing his mouth sloppily. His eyes focused on Sara, who was already on her way to pull Rochelle off him.

"Guys, give me a hand," Sara called out, but she immediately saw stars as the lollipop cracked over her head.

"I told you to leave my cupcake alone!"

Sara started to get off the floor as officers dragged Rochelle to the drunk tank, but Grissom's hands on her shoulders stopped her progress. She winced when he yelled at Catherine to get ice from the break room refrigerator.

"I'm fine, Griss."

He gave her a doubtful look, but helped her up and escorted her to his office. Heading to his couch, he made her stretch out as he took the makeshift ice bag and held it against her head.

"Guys, I'm okay. Really."

Grissom turned around to see who she was talking to, and frowned when he spotted over half of the lab's techs milling outside. "If there's no work, I'm sure we can get rid of some of your positions," he growled, effectively dispersing the gaggling crowd, and then closing his office door.

"And don't you think of getting up," he said in a much softer voice when he sat on the edge of the couch.

"It's just a headache." Her grimace faded as she watched him; they had things to work out, but there was no question that he cared.

"Did she hit you with what I think she hit you with?"

"Yeah," she said. "It was for you."

Grissom's tender expression changed to one of confusion. "What did she expect me to do with it?"

"Do you really want an answer to that?"

"Probably not."

She chuckled and quickly explained what had happened to him. "I have to tell you, when Hodges said it was yours and involved your girlfriend, I got a little worried."

"I wouldn't get you something like that," Grissom insisted, but then he looked slightly nervous. "You don't want anything like that, do you?"

"No!"

"Good, good," he said, his hands gently brushing against hers. "Your present isn't so crass."

"What is it like? Come on, I just got bopped over the head with your candied penis. I think I deserve a hint," she teased.

"It's something that will be close to your heart."

Sara nodded knowingly; she was learning to decipher his clues. "Ahh. Clothing."

Grissom smirked, but he didn't disagree.

"Let me guess," she said. "It's pink."

"An appropriate color for the holiday, I thought."

"Ladybugs?"

His head tilted to the side quizzically. "Did you want ladybugs? I can order some."

"That's okay. I don't have an aphid problem. I meant on the clothing."

"No," he said with curious expression.

"Tell me."

"Hissing cockroaches."

Sara blinked slowly. "Please tell me they are on the clothing and not the real things."

"They are. It's the cutest pajama set," he said eagerly, stopping suddenly when he realized she was gaping at him. "At least, _I_ thought it was. What, uh, would you like?"

Sara smiled as she sat up, giving him a playful wink. "Take me home, cupcake."

* * *

**A/N:** If for some bizarre reason you'd like to know more about her, Rochelle first appeared in "Hands on Approach" and later in "Past Experiences". 


End file.
